Something
by Rebekah Caren
Summary: I need something to get him out of my head. I need to pretend that he didn't kiss me. But, he did. And I can't. Why did he leave?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. I have never tried writing The Office, but I love it. Seriously. So I thought I would try it. I would really love some reviews. **

* * *

I hung up my phone, quickly drying my eyes as his tall figure came through the door. He crossed the room, pulling my close to him. My heart skipped a beat as his soft lips pressed against mine, making everything fade away. His hands found the small of my back, and my fingers played with the hair on the nape of his neck. He pulled away after a moment, or a couple of days, maybe even years. My ear tingled when his warm breath appeared next to it. I was dying with anticipation.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he whispered, kissing my ear.

"Me too," I whispered back. "I think we're just drunk."

"No, I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No," I whispered. He grinned, and leant forward and captured my lips, fitting his hands against my curves. Jim's arms suddenly melted into blankets, and his head turned into a pillow. I reluctantly opened my eyes. No Jim. Just mine and Roy's bed.

"What about Jim?" Roy's voice came from the bathroom.

"Shit," I thought. "Apparently I talk in my sleep."

"I was just thinking about him going to Stamford," I said, getting out of bed and stretching. "I don't know who's gonna take Dwight down anymore." Roy appeared at the bathroom door with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"I know you miss him, babe. Why don't you just call him? See if he has any ideas to use on whatshisface," he said, spitting in the sink.

"Dwight? I don't know, Roy. Its different without him. Michael even gave Ryan Jim's desk," I said, pulling a shirt and skirt out of my closet. I closed the bathroom door, and got dressed quickly.

Roy and I were having 'problems' as he put it. Our wedding was in two weeks, and we hadn't had sex since Jim kissed me. I told Roy it was because I wanted our wedding night to be special, but I knew it wasn't. I continually had to tell myself that I was doing the right thing by staying with Roy, but maybe I wasn't.

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I find myself staring at Ryan. I have since Jim left. I miss him. Dwight was becoming unbearable. I lost another game of Minesweeper. Jim was good at Minesweeper. I glanced over at Ryan once again. He looked up, and I looked away. The phone started ringing.

"Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam," I said after picking up my handset. It was for Meredith. "I will transfer your call." I pushed the button and went back to playing Minesweeper. A few moments later, Meredith rushed past my desk.

"What's wrong, Meredith?" I asked as she grabbed her coat.

"My son decided to do a flip off some stairs and broke his arm. I have to get him from the hospital. I probably won't be back," she said, heading out the door. I dialed Michael's office.

"Yello?" Michael said. I rolled my eyes.

"Meredith has to go to the hospital for her son. She's not coming back," I said.

"That's fine, whatever. Hey, could you come to my office?" he asked.

"No. For what, Michael?" I replied, crossing my fingers he changed his mind.

"I want to talk about Jim," Michael said, spinning around in his chair, tangling himself up in the phone cord. I sighed and went into his office. He was relentlessly pulling at the cord. I untangled him and sat down.

"What about Jim, Michael?" I asked, twirling my fingers around each other.

"I don't know if you knew, but Jim had a huge crush on you," he said, playing with one of his cars.

"No, I knew. But I'm getting married. And Jim left," I said, standing up and smoothing my skirt. I sat back at my desk, staring at the clock as it slowly dragged its hands around to five o'clock.

"Good night, Dwight," I said as he walked past me towards the door.

"A good night indeed," he said as he followed Angela out the door with his eyes(**A/n: My second favorite couple is Dwight/ Angela!**). I personally thought they made a cute couple, but I didn't think everyone would agree.

My hand hovered over my phone, threatening to betray my brain and dial Jim's cellphone number. I picked up the handset, my fingers punching in the first few digits. Sighing, I placed it back, laying my head down on my desk.

"Oh, Jim," I whispered into the empty office.

"You ready to go, Pam?" Roy asked, suddenly leaning across my desk.

"Uh, yeah. Let me shut my computer down," I said, turning it off. I stood up, walking around to him. He took my hand in his, but it didn't feel right.

That night, I had another Jim dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I made some changes in this chap. I know I seem to have abandoned it, but I am now making a vow to wrap it semi nicely, and not work on any stories until I do. I'm gonna aim for two updates a week.**

**It probably won't be that long.**

**That's what she said.**

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I let the almost scalding water cascade over my head and shoulders, leaving it to erase all of today's memories. Everyone so smiley (even Angela), congratulating me on my wedding in a few days.

Roy's liquor laced breath as he stumbled into bed around four this morning.

Staring at Ryan until it made him uncomfortable.

Michael telling me for the fifteenth million time that Jim had a crush on me.

Each tore my heart to remember as they slipped down the drain.

I poured some strawberry shampoo into my palm and lathered my hair, scrubbing it into my scalp. Stepping under the shower head, I squeezed my eyes shut as the soapy water ran past.

My fingers slipped through my wet hair, washing the last traces of shampoo away. I conditioned my hair, my mind slipping off to Jim. I wondered what he was doing right now, who he was with.

The kiss.

Remembering that kiss made my lips sear. I had never been kissed like that before, ever. My first kiss was awkward and clumsy, almost forgotten over the years since junior high. Roy wasn't much better. His mouth was always wet, his kisses sloppy, always only thinking about later.

But Jim… he made my heart stop. His lips were soft, and he didn't try to shove his tongue down my throat, and everything about him was so-

The slamming front door jerked me out of my thoughts, and I realized the water was freezing cold. I rinsed my hair and soapy body in the cold spray, and then wrapped myself in a towel off of the shelf by the shower. I heard a muffled thump, followed by a string of swears.

"Great, he fell on the stairs again," I said to myself. I pulled on my robe and exited the bathroom. Sure enough, when I walked out of our bedroom, Roy was pulling himself to his feet.

"Heey, baby," he said taking several clumsy steps toward me.

"Roy, are you drunk?" I asked, stepping back as the smell of beer drifted towards me.

"No, what would make you think that?" he hiccuped. I rolled my eyes, and took him by the arm, leading him to bed.

"Okay, Roy, lift up your arms," I said, and when he did, I pulled his shirt over his head. He sat down on the bed, and I slipped off his work boots, throwing them into their usual spot. Then I carefully tugged his jeans off, taking his phone and wallet out of the pockets. When I stood up, he was already asleep. I pulled the comforter over him, and picked up his shirt and jeans. I silently exited the bedroom, and took his clothes down stairs to the laundry.

Back in the living room, I lay down on the couch. I glanced down at my engagement ring, which I had not taken off since the seemingly love of my life had placed it, made me nauseous. It made me think about my future life with Roy. I was doomed to taking care of a small child for ever. I suddenly felt suffocated. I gripped the ring with my right thumb and first finger, and pulled gently. It slid off slowly. I held it for a second, just looking at it. Then I laughed slightly.

"I can't do this anymore," I said aloud to myself. "I just can't." I found a pen and some paper, and began to write.

_ Roy,_

_I can't do it. I can't get married. You are a great man, and we loved each other. But I just can't. I'm leaving tonight. I'll come get my the rest of my stuff some time tomorrow. I'm so sorry,_

_Pam_

I slipped upstairs, and placed the noted on his bedside table, with the ring on top of it. I grabbed some of my clothes, and went outside, locking the door behind me. I climbed in my car and started it. Then I dialed my parents' number. On the fifth ring, my mom answered.

"Hello?" she said groggily.

"Hey, Mom," I said.

"Pam, it's almost one in the morning, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"I'll tell you when I get there," I said, saying bye as I closed my phone and backed out of the driveway. I was taking control.


End file.
